Let's get this started right: Rake's Entry Theme
The Rake is in the ring he and C.U.T.E. are just eying each other at the moment. Here comes the bell.
*The bell rings*
The Rake and C.U.T.E. lunged each other at once. C.U.T.E. wielding dual broadswords and The Rake with his claws. They clash once, twice, three times! Each parrying and attacking with dazzling speed and ferocity. The Rake managed to slash C.U.T.E.'s arm but C.U.T.E. slashed The Rake's left eye in response. They're breaking apart and retreating to the other sides of the ring.
C.U.T.E. is breathing heavily and The Rake is just smiling.
The Rake has lunged again! He slashes down vertically at C.U.T.E. but C.U.T.E. blocks it and kicks The Rake back. He then lunges forward and slashes frantically. The Rake is desperately parrying the blows. He missed one the slash caught his chest creating a large gash. The Rake howls in pain and he's now tackled C.U.T.E. to the ground and is trying to stab him in the face. C.U.T.E. is blocking the stabs with great effort. He swings his other sword up catching The Rake in the neck the blade sliding in enough to stick but not enough to sever. The Rake retreats shaking his head tossing the sword away.
He's glaring with hatred at C.U.T.E. who merely responds by pointing the remaining blade at The Rake. The Rake roars with rage and dashes forward. C.U.T.E. slashes but The Rake has ducked under and he's stabbed forward his claw impaling C.U.T.E. through the stomach! C.U.T.E. gasps with pain. The Rake is grinning and he jabs his claw upwards lifting him into the air and forcing him down further onto the claw. Blood is leaking down the claw staining it red. C.U.T.E. looks like he's about to pass out. He's summoning his last bits of strength and he's... Driving his sword through The Rake's skull!
They are both frozen in place. The Rake is teetering forward... He's collapsed C.U.T.E. wins!
He doesn't look so good...
Someone quickly get him medical attention!
Um... The next match may be held off for a little bit while C.U.T.E. recovers.
Wednesday 21 March 2012
Tuesday 20 March 2012
Nineteenth Match
Alright guys the universe seems to still exist despite somehow being shattered. Not sure what that means but I'm sure it's completely unimportant.
Onwards to the next Match! It's C.U.T.E. versus The Grotesque!
Who?
No seriously does anyone know what the hell that is?
Check the blogs it has to be mentioned somewhere.
Nope no mention of it?
Why the hell is it even included here then?
I mean it's not official until it's showed up in at least two blogs by two different authors!
Yes I know I'm being Meta!
No you shut up!
Get those needles away from me!
I'll kill you a-
We apologize. We are experiencing technical difficulties.
Alright new announcer here.
So yeah C.U.T.E. versus The Grotesque
*Offstage yell* It doesn't exist!!
Right... bell please?
*Bell rings*
Ok nothing is happening. C.U.T.E.'s just standing there. He looks confused as well.
There's nothing else here...
Just C.U.T.E. standing there alone.
... Huh guess the other guy was right...
Well C.U.T.E. wins by default next time the fights you've been waiting for.
Onwards to the next Match! It's C.U.T.E. versus The Grotesque!
Who?
No seriously does anyone know what the hell that is?
Check the blogs it has to be mentioned somewhere.
Nope no mention of it?
Why the hell is it even included here then?
I mean it's not official until it's showed up in at least two blogs by two different authors!
Yes I know I'm being Meta!
No you shut up!
Get those needles away from me!
I'll kill you a-
We apologize. We are experiencing technical difficulties.
Alright new announcer here.
So yeah C.U.T.E. versus The Grotesque
*Offstage yell* It doesn't exist!!
Right... bell please?
*Bell rings*
Ok nothing is happening. C.U.T.E.'s just standing there. He looks confused as well.
There's nothing else here...
Just C.U.T.E. standing there alone.
... Huh guess the other guy was right...
Well C.U.T.E. wins by default next time the fights you've been waiting for.
Monday 19 March 2012
Eighteenth Match
So um.. Yeah everyone involved in that last... Match. Yeah They're all dead. Everyone except C.U.T.E. and he refuses to talk about it so yeah. No records survived except The Announcers broadcast which wasn't very helpful. We have no fucking clue what happened.
So we're just going to move on.
Eighteenth Match! C.U.T.E. Versus The Mother of All!
*Whispering*
Sorry Mother of Snakes!
It's just a mirror.
*Bell rings*
Oh shit a tail just reached out of the mirror and dragged C.U.T.E. into it.
Um this is embarrassing. We can't see what's going on. We can't really report on what's happening.
Sorry guys. I know it's kind of a let down.
The mirror isn't even rocking or anything it's just a stationary blank mirror.
Yes blank it's not reflecting or showing anything.
Wait a crack just appeared...
Oh shit The Mirror just shattered as C.U.T.E. seems to of tackled some Snake woman through the mirror!
Oh god I... Ugh I'm nauseous. The entire world is twisting and bending.
THE WORLD IS CRACKING!
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
*Deafening sound of shattering glass*
W... We're alive?
The universe just shattered and nothing has changed.
Except the snake lady is dead. Good job I guess C.U.T.E.
So we're just going to move on.
Eighteenth Match! C.U.T.E. Versus The Mother of All!
*Whispering*
Sorry Mother of Snakes!
It's just a mirror.
*Bell rings*
Oh shit a tail just reached out of the mirror and dragged C.U.T.E. into it.
Um this is embarrassing. We can't see what's going on. We can't really report on what's happening.
Sorry guys. I know it's kind of a let down.
The mirror isn't even rocking or anything it's just a stationary blank mirror.
Yes blank it's not reflecting or showing anything.
Wait a crack just appeared...
Oh shit The Mirror just shattered as C.U.T.E. seems to of tackled some Snake woman through the mirror!
Oh god I... Ugh I'm nauseous. The entire world is twisting and bending.
THE WORLD IS CRACKING!
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
*Deafening sound of shattering glass*
W... We're alive?
The universe just shattered and nothing has changed.
Except the snake lady is dead. Good job I guess C.U.T.E.
Sunday 18 March 2012
Seventeenth Match
Um... So yeah. We really don't want to show this match... I mean. Yeah just wow. I mean yeah we were fine with The Newborn but I mean it's sort of like a machine and stuff you know? I mean yeah this thing isn't really a kid but it really looks like one. Anyways yeah... We got no choice.
It's C.U.T.E. versus The Unnamed Child.
Enjoy you sick bastards.
*Bell rings*
C.U.T.E. throws a punch at the little girl and-
*Incoherent screaming*
OH HOLY FUCK!! Oh Jesus! Oh Cockroach Jesus! What the-
*More incoherent screaming and the sound of bones shattering loudly*
Oh god it's killing everyone!
*Mumbled sobbing and screams*
No. Please no... please no... please nAAAAAAAAGGGHH
*White noise*
It's C.U.T.E. versus The Unnamed Child.
Enjoy you sick bastards.
*Bell rings*
C.U.T.E. throws a punch at the little girl and-
*Incoherent screaming*
OH HOLY FUCK!! Oh Jesus! Oh Cockroach Jesus! What the-
*More incoherent screaming and the sound of bones shattering loudly*
Oh god it's killing everyone!
*Mumbled sobbing and screams*
No. Please no... please no... please nAAAAAAAAGGGHH
*White noise*
Saturday 17 March 2012
Sixteenth Match
*Quiet* Nope! No! Absolutely not! You be The Announcer there is no way in hell I'm doing it! Did you see what that smiling freak did to the last one?! There is no way in hell I'm going out there! Yes but... God damn it. Fine I'll do it but if I die horribly I will haunt the hell out of you!
*Loud* Hello and welcome back to The Match of the Century! Today's fight is between C.U.T.E. and The Intrusion!
Oh holy *Bleep*! That is a lot of bugs. The bugs are swarming towards C.U.T.E. and he's... Running away? He's jumped onto the ropes and is tight rope walking away from the bugs!
The bugs are swarming onto the ropes! Wait one of them just severed the ropes! C.U.T.E. is falling. The bugs are swarming all over him. He's gotten up and is shaking them off stomping and swatting at them! There are too many they're going to overwhelm him! Wait he's pulled something from his pocket! It's... BUGSPRAY!
He's spraying the entire ring the bugs are retreating!
Uh oh looks like he has no intention of letting them get away! He's chasing them down spraying them until they're all dead!
He's chased them right out of the building.
I um I assume he wins.
*Loud* Hello and welcome back to The Match of the Century! Today's fight is between C.U.T.E. and The Intrusion!
Oh holy *Bleep*! That is a lot of bugs. The bugs are swarming towards C.U.T.E. and he's... Running away? He's jumped onto the ropes and is tight rope walking away from the bugs!
The bugs are swarming onto the ropes! Wait one of them just severed the ropes! C.U.T.E. is falling. The bugs are swarming all over him. He's gotten up and is shaking them off stomping and swatting at them! There are too many they're going to overwhelm him! Wait he's pulled something from his pocket! It's... BUGSPRAY!
He's spraying the entire ring the bugs are retreating!
Uh oh looks like he has no intention of letting them get away! He's chasing them down spraying them until they're all dead!
He's chased them right out of the building.
I um I assume he wins.
Sunday 11 March 2012
Fifteenth Match
*Quiet panicked voice* Yes I know but shouldn't he be in the ring not here in the announcers booth?!
Yes I understand that but... Stop Smiling at me please it's creeping me out! Is there any way we can get him into the ring and away from me? Please? Yes it's a very pretty knife no I don't want to know how well it cuts... No I will not look into your eyes... Oh god why would you do that?! No I don't want to taste it! Please just go down to the ring. Oh hey he's actually going! Um he left me a rose... What does that mean? Um anyways...
*Loud* Yeah so Fifteenth Match! It's C.U.T.E. versus The Smiling Man.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started and... Wait The smiling Man has disappeared? Where'd he-OH GOD! MY SPLEEN! GET HIM OFF!!! OH GOD! AGH! *Gurgling and bone breaking sounds then silence*
...
That was fun. I concede. Whoever my opponent was. You win whatever. Bye bye.
*Whistling slowly getting quieter*
Yes I understand that but... Stop Smiling at me please it's creeping me out! Is there any way we can get him into the ring and away from me? Please? Yes it's a very pretty knife no I don't want to know how well it cuts... No I will not look into your eyes... Oh god why would you do that?! No I don't want to taste it! Please just go down to the ring. Oh hey he's actually going! Um he left me a rose... What does that mean? Um anyways...
*Loud* Yeah so Fifteenth Match! It's C.U.T.E. versus The Smiling Man.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started and... Wait The smiling Man has disappeared? Where'd he-OH GOD! MY SPLEEN! GET HIM OFF!!! OH GOD! AGH! *Gurgling and bone breaking sounds then silence*
...
That was fun. I concede. Whoever my opponent was. You win whatever. Bye bye.
*Whistling slowly getting quieter*
Saturday 10 March 2012
Fourteenth Match
Ok so yeah we're continuing these matches in an alternate universe since the last one was completely destroyed by The Quiet.
So this is the fourteenth match! C.U.T.E. versus The eye of Harmony! *Quiet* What? *Loud* I mean The Eye!
Oh and apparently The Eye will be fighting by Proxy of Judgment.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started! Judgment charges at C.U.T.E. slicing with his knife. C.U.T.E. catches the knife hand and is now punching Judgment in the face. He's got judgment on the floor and is just wailing on him. Beating him into the ground. There's like a ton of blood. Judgment is flailing wildly but C.U.T.E. is just beating him to death. Oh wow his face just sort of caved in. I think that's the end fol- Wait something is happening. Judgment is rising! Oh god his eye just popped out! It's growing and wings made out of membranes are forming behind it. I think this is The Eye itself!
The Eye is floating into the air and glaring at C.U.T.E. it seems to be glowi- Oh shit it just fired a fucking laser beam! C.U.T.E. dodged and it's firing more. Run C.U.T.E. Run! This seems familiar... WAIT C.U.T.E. not into the audience! Oh god they're being massacred! You know I have to ask why people keep showing up to these fights considering the rather low life expectancy of the audience. C.U.T.E. has gotten to the very top of the stands and he's leaping at the eye! He has tackled the eye to the ground and is now punching it in the pupil! He's ripping out the lens! Oh god it's disgusting! He's tearing it apart. Just thinking about it is making my eyes hurt. Ugh... C.U.T.E. Eugh... Yeah he wins.
So this is the fourteenth match! C.U.T.E. versus The eye of Harmony! *Quiet* What? *Loud* I mean The Eye!
Oh and apparently The Eye will be fighting by Proxy of Judgment.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started! Judgment charges at C.U.T.E. slicing with his knife. C.U.T.E. catches the knife hand and is now punching Judgment in the face. He's got judgment on the floor and is just wailing on him. Beating him into the ground. There's like a ton of blood. Judgment is flailing wildly but C.U.T.E. is just beating him to death. Oh wow his face just sort of caved in. I think that's the end fol- Wait something is happening. Judgment is rising! Oh god his eye just popped out! It's growing and wings made out of membranes are forming behind it. I think this is The Eye itself!
The Eye is floating into the air and glaring at C.U.T.E. it seems to be glowi- Oh shit it just fired a fucking laser beam! C.U.T.E. dodged and it's firing more. Run C.U.T.E. Run! This seems familiar... WAIT C.U.T.E. not into the audience! Oh god they're being massacred! You know I have to ask why people keep showing up to these fights considering the rather low life expectancy of the audience. C.U.T.E. has gotten to the very top of the stands and he's leaping at the eye! He has tackled the eye to the ground and is now punching it in the pupil! He's ripping out the lens! Oh god it's disgusting! He's tearing it apart. Just thinking about it is making my eyes hurt. Ugh... C.U.T.E. Eugh... Yeah he wins.
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