*Quiet* Nope! No! Absolutely not! You be The Announcer there is no way in hell I'm doing it! Did you see what that smiling freak did to the last one?! There is no way in hell I'm going out there! Yes but... God damn it. Fine I'll do it but if I die horribly I will haunt the hell out of you!
*Loud* Hello and welcome back to The Match of the Century! Today's fight is between C.U.T.E. and The Intrusion!
Oh holy *Bleep*! That is a lot of bugs. The bugs are swarming towards C.U.T.E. and he's... Running away? He's jumped onto the ropes and is tight rope walking away from the bugs!
The bugs are swarming onto the ropes! Wait one of them just severed the ropes! C.U.T.E. is falling. The bugs are swarming all over him. He's gotten up and is shaking them off stomping and swatting at them! There are too many they're going to overwhelm him! Wait he's pulled something from his pocket! It's... BUGSPRAY!
He's spraying the entire ring the bugs are retreating!
Uh oh looks like he has no intention of letting them get away! He's chasing them down spraying them until they're all dead!
He's chased them right out of the building.
I um I assume he wins.
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Sunday, 11 March 2012
Fifteenth Match
*Quiet panicked voice* Yes I know but shouldn't he be in the ring not here in the announcers booth?!
Yes I understand that but... Stop Smiling at me please it's creeping me out! Is there any way we can get him into the ring and away from me? Please? Yes it's a very pretty knife no I don't want to know how well it cuts... No I will not look into your eyes... Oh god why would you do that?! No I don't want to taste it! Please just go down to the ring. Oh hey he's actually going! Um he left me a rose... What does that mean? Um anyways...
*Loud* Yeah so Fifteenth Match! It's C.U.T.E. versus The Smiling Man.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started and... Wait The smiling Man has disappeared? Where'd he-OH GOD! MY SPLEEN! GET HIM OFF!!! OH GOD! AGH! *Gurgling and bone breaking sounds then silence*
...
That was fun. I concede. Whoever my opponent was. You win whatever. Bye bye.
*Whistling slowly getting quieter*
Yes I understand that but... Stop Smiling at me please it's creeping me out! Is there any way we can get him into the ring and away from me? Please? Yes it's a very pretty knife no I don't want to know how well it cuts... No I will not look into your eyes... Oh god why would you do that?! No I don't want to taste it! Please just go down to the ring. Oh hey he's actually going! Um he left me a rose... What does that mean? Um anyways...
*Loud* Yeah so Fifteenth Match! It's C.U.T.E. versus The Smiling Man.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started and... Wait The smiling Man has disappeared? Where'd he-OH GOD! MY SPLEEN! GET HIM OFF!!! OH GOD! AGH! *Gurgling and bone breaking sounds then silence*
...
That was fun. I concede. Whoever my opponent was. You win whatever. Bye bye.
*Whistling slowly getting quieter*
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Fourteenth Match
Ok so yeah we're continuing these matches in an alternate universe since the last one was completely destroyed by The Quiet.
So this is the fourteenth match! C.U.T.E. versus The eye of Harmony! *Quiet* What? *Loud* I mean The Eye!
Oh and apparently The Eye will be fighting by Proxy of Judgment.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started! Judgment charges at C.U.T.E. slicing with his knife. C.U.T.E. catches the knife hand and is now punching Judgment in the face. He's got judgment on the floor and is just wailing on him. Beating him into the ground. There's like a ton of blood. Judgment is flailing wildly but C.U.T.E. is just beating him to death. Oh wow his face just sort of caved in. I think that's the end fol- Wait something is happening. Judgment is rising! Oh god his eye just popped out! It's growing and wings made out of membranes are forming behind it. I think this is The Eye itself!
The Eye is floating into the air and glaring at C.U.T.E. it seems to be glowi- Oh shit it just fired a fucking laser beam! C.U.T.E. dodged and it's firing more. Run C.U.T.E. Run! This seems familiar... WAIT C.U.T.E. not into the audience! Oh god they're being massacred! You know I have to ask why people keep showing up to these fights considering the rather low life expectancy of the audience. C.U.T.E. has gotten to the very top of the stands and he's leaping at the eye! He has tackled the eye to the ground and is now punching it in the pupil! He's ripping out the lens! Oh god it's disgusting! He's tearing it apart. Just thinking about it is making my eyes hurt. Ugh... C.U.T.E. Eugh... Yeah he wins.
So this is the fourteenth match! C.U.T.E. versus The eye of Harmony! *Quiet* What? *Loud* I mean The Eye!
Oh and apparently The Eye will be fighting by Proxy of Judgment.
*Bell rings*
The fight has started! Judgment charges at C.U.T.E. slicing with his knife. C.U.T.E. catches the knife hand and is now punching Judgment in the face. He's got judgment on the floor and is just wailing on him. Beating him into the ground. There's like a ton of blood. Judgment is flailing wildly but C.U.T.E. is just beating him to death. Oh wow his face just sort of caved in. I think that's the end fol- Wait something is happening. Judgment is rising! Oh god his eye just popped out! It's growing and wings made out of membranes are forming behind it. I think this is The Eye itself!
The Eye is floating into the air and glaring at C.U.T.E. it seems to be glowi- Oh shit it just fired a fucking laser beam! C.U.T.E. dodged and it's firing more. Run C.U.T.E. Run! This seems familiar... WAIT C.U.T.E. not into the audience! Oh god they're being massacred! You know I have to ask why people keep showing up to these fights considering the rather low life expectancy of the audience. C.U.T.E. has gotten to the very top of the stands and he's leaping at the eye! He has tackled the eye to the ground and is now punching it in the pupil! He's ripping out the lens! Oh god it's disgusting! He's tearing it apart. Just thinking about it is making my eyes hurt. Ugh... C.U.T.E. Eugh... Yeah he wins.
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
Thirteenth Match
*Silence*
*Continued silence*
*Sharp microphone feedback that is suddenly cut off*
*Continued Silence*
*Complete absence of noise*
*Continued silence*
*Sharp microphone feedback that is suddenly cut off*
*Continued Silence*
*Complete absence of noise*
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Twelfth Night!... I mean Match!
C.U.T.E. is back from wherever that Door took him but he's still a Nightlander... Wait he's doing something strange. He's gaining color... Yes he has changed back to normal through pure willpower just in time for the next match! It's C.U.T.E versus The Black Dog!
Finally something I can actually see!
Damn those red eyes are creepy...
Wait um why is it giving me a jar of peanut butter? Anyone know what that means?
*Bell rings*
The fight has started. The Black dog has lunged at C.U.T.E. and given him a nasty scratch across the chest but C.U.T.E. has returned the favor by slicing The Black Dogs ear with a random knife! Wait somethings happening again. Oh god it's healing itself by stealing C.U.T.E.'s ear! C.U.T.E. has foregone the knife and is returning to his bare fists. He's punching the dog but the dog doesn't seem to mind and for every punch he merely steals a bit of skin from C.U.T.E.'s fists. C.U.T.E. is rethinking his strategy again. He's moved to the far side of the ring and has pulled out a large incredibly sharp sword. The Dog seems to understand and is flexing it's claws. They're charging. They intend to end it in one move! They've hit! Both have slashed and now we wait. Who will fall first... Wait C.U.T.E. is stumbling and... I ADMIT IT! I USED UP THE LAST JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER WHEN I WAS EIGHT AND BLAMED MY SISTER! I'M SO SORRY! *Crying*
*Quiet sobbing voice* What? Oh um right... Uh *Loud* C.U.T.E. won... *Goes back to crying*
Finally something I can actually see!
Damn those red eyes are creepy...
Wait um why is it giving me a jar of peanut butter? Anyone know what that means?
*Bell rings*
The fight has started. The Black dog has lunged at C.U.T.E. and given him a nasty scratch across the chest but C.U.T.E. has returned the favor by slicing The Black Dogs ear with a random knife! Wait somethings happening again. Oh god it's healing itself by stealing C.U.T.E.'s ear! C.U.T.E. has foregone the knife and is returning to his bare fists. He's punching the dog but the dog doesn't seem to mind and for every punch he merely steals a bit of skin from C.U.T.E.'s fists. C.U.T.E. is rethinking his strategy again. He's moved to the far side of the ring and has pulled out a large incredibly sharp sword. The Dog seems to understand and is flexing it's claws. They're charging. They intend to end it in one move! They've hit! Both have slashed and now we wait. Who will fall first... Wait C.U.T.E. is stumbling and... I ADMIT IT! I USED UP THE LAST JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER WHEN I WAS EIGHT AND BLAMED MY SISTER! I'M SO SORRY! *Crying*
*Quiet sobbing voice* What? Oh um right... Uh *Loud* C.U.T.E. won... *Goes back to crying*
Friday, 2 March 2012
Eleventh Match
*Quiet* How many more of these things are there going to be? Wait I'm on?
*Loud* Welcome back Todays match is... Impossible... It's C.U.T.E. versus The Empty City!
We're broadcasting live from inside The City where C.U.T.E. is facing off with... well everything around him.
How can he fight the very world around him? Guess we'll find out.
*Bell rings*
The City instantly tried to crush C.U.T.E. by dropping the sky on him but something stopped it. C.U.T.E. seems to be doing something... Could it be? Yes It's... Something I have no idea about! Really anyone know what the hell's going on? C.U.T.E. seems to be showing some strange superpower we have never seen before.
The City has just lit on fire!
The Entire City even the nonflammable parts are burning. The City is trying to put itself out with water but now the water is on fire!
The City has burned to the ground. Like entirely. Wait something is wrong... A Door is appearing and C.U.T.E. seems to have been changed by his time in The City. He's now a Nightlander! How did that happen? He's going into The Door! He's gone.
Um I guess he wins?
*Loud* Welcome back Todays match is... Impossible... It's C.U.T.E. versus The Empty City!
We're broadcasting live from inside The City where C.U.T.E. is facing off with... well everything around him.
How can he fight the very world around him? Guess we'll find out.
*Bell rings*
The City instantly tried to crush C.U.T.E. by dropping the sky on him but something stopped it. C.U.T.E. seems to be doing something... Could it be? Yes It's... Something I have no idea about! Really anyone know what the hell's going on? C.U.T.E. seems to be showing some strange superpower we have never seen before.
The City has just lit on fire!
The Entire City even the nonflammable parts are burning. The City is trying to put itself out with water but now the water is on fire!
The City has burned to the ground. Like entirely. Wait something is wrong... A Door is appearing and C.U.T.E. seems to have been changed by his time in The City. He's now a Nightlander! How did that happen? He's going into The Door! He's gone.
Um I guess he wins?
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Tenth Match!
Hey guys welcome back! I don't remember much from the last match but I'm sure it was amazing.
Hopefully today's match will be just as exciting!
It's C.U.T.E. versus the lords of sound. It's THE CHOIR!!!
*Quiet* There's no one out there again...
Really another one?
Don't any of these Fear things have actual form?
*Loud* Alright the match is about to begin!
*Bell rings*
*Immediately there is a loud painful sound and a chorus of pained agonized screams*
Gah The Choir are... Ahh! My head! I don't want to die! Mommy!
*Suddenly there's music in the background drowning out the noise*
What?! C.U.T.E. has randomly pulled a boombox out of nowhere and is playing a song! It's somehow drowning out The Choir. They don't seem to be able to fight back against the music. Wait C.U.T.E. has a microphone he's going too... Yes he's singing!
The audience are all pulling out lighters!
The Choir is completely drowned out.
They're leaving but let's not tell C.U.T.E. he won just yet...
*Music and singing continues and you hear The announcer tapping his hands against a desk too the beat*
Hopefully today's match will be just as exciting!
It's C.U.T.E. versus the lords of sound. It's THE CHOIR!!!
*Quiet* There's no one out there again...
Really another one?
Don't any of these Fear things have actual form?
*Loud* Alright the match is about to begin!
*Bell rings*
*Immediately there is a loud painful sound and a chorus of pained agonized screams*
Gah The Choir are... Ahh! My head! I don't want to die! Mommy!
*Suddenly there's music in the background drowning out the noise*
What?! C.U.T.E. has randomly pulled a boombox out of nowhere and is playing a song! It's somehow drowning out The Choir. They don't seem to be able to fight back against the music. Wait C.U.T.E. has a microphone he's going too... Yes he's singing!
The audience are all pulling out lighters!
The Choir is completely drowned out.
They're leaving but let's not tell C.U.T.E. he won just yet...
*Music and singing continues and you hear The announcer tapping his hands against a desk too the beat*
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